Random Rumblings

Dear Patience,

There is no apology or excuse befitting my silence. I will just lay it here plainly: I am sorry.
It is cold here but it is even colder without you. I know those are not the words I planned to start with. You see, while thinking about what to write to you today, I took a walk. I took a walk in the forest near home to declutter my mind. I don’t know how that turned out. I feel much better now and the computer is not repulvise anymore.
I have a lot of explaining to do but I don’t if this is the right forum. I hope that we can talk soon so that we clear the air.
I walked out on you and I am sorry about that. Now, it is clear that my life is not complete without you in it.

While growing up, I longed to be an adult. Now that I am an adult; I look back with longing at my childhood and sometimes I wish I could turn back the hands of time and be a child one more time. I had a wonderful childhood and I would never change anything about it. I grew around loving parents and crazy simblings. Home is still magical and the reunions (now that the simblings are scattered all over the world) are nothing short of the madness expected. I am blessed beyond measure.
I choose happiness.

I digress. I am sorry that I walked out on you. You see, I was ashamed.
Ashamed that I could not look you in the eye and tell you that I failed you;
Ashamed that I let you down;
Ashamed of the monster I became instead of the man I should have been;
I now see how much I wronged you.

Benjamin Franklin said that; “Never ruin an apology with an excuse”
Therefore, it is better that I end this post here.

You mean more than you know

Image source: Google Images

I hope to hear from you soon!

Much love.

Dear Patience, I say thank you

I sought your smile among the crowds,

It was the brightest of them all.

I sought you face among the crowds,

It was the cutest of them all.

You had me without even trying

 

I have learnt to love again

In the process to live again as well

You showed me what love is

I am glad to call you mine

You had me without even trying

 

I love you Patience,

Patience was all I had while I waited

While I prayed, Patience was all I received

You are my beloved, my Patience.

You had me without even trying

“We are the perfect couple, we’re just not in the perfect situation.”

 

Image Source: Google Images.

 

 

 

My world changed when you left

Words cannot describe how much….

 

It is almost dawn,

I sit still

I failed to sleep

The radio drowns my thoughts.

 

Tonight, I thought of you,

Tonight, I could not sleep

I stare at your eyes in the photo on the wall,

Your beautiful scent still lingers in this room.

 

It is almost dawn,

Sleep eludes me again

The radio drowns my thoughts,

You will will never leave my heart.

 

Tonight, I thought of you,

Tonight, I could not sleep

When you left, my world changed,

I miss your sweet voice.

 

I love you, Patience!

 

“Before I sleep and after I wake up and all the hours in between … you occupy my mind. So, practically every moment of the day you are in my thoughts. I miss you.”
Source Unknown

Image credit: Google Images

Thank you Susan!

Dear Patience,

How are you? Have you adjusted to the cold? I miss you more everyday. JJ asked me why you went away, I told him you will call him. Make sure you do.
He says he wants a photo of you in Bulaya!

The rains have started again. Kampala is getting cooler by the day. of course, the sunshine does not give up easily. It gets its way always.
Today, I want to tell you about Susan.

The first time I met Susan was in July 2014. She was interviewing me for a job I badly needed. She was with her husband during the interview and I liked the way he let her take charge of the entire interview. From the many questions she asked me that day, only one remained in my head for a long time after. It is a question many prospective employers ask their would-be or soon-to-be employees. The question is”Where do you see yourself in the next 5 or 10 or more years?”
I do not remember what my answer was to the question that day. However, I do remember that I was not prepared for the question (if anyone is out there and has a perfectly correct answer to the question, get in touch) and I was quite shocked. I stumbled back and back and forth and talked about my love for nature, food etc. Totally unconnected!

He has the perfectly correct answer!

Photo credit: http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/wb/theintern/

I did get the job! In the course of my time at the company, Susan and I did discuss about my future plans both personally and professionally at length.
Very informative and fun-filled discussions we had. I must add that Susan is amazing at reading people. She knew my sad and happy moments effortless.
Patience, you must be wondering why I have started using the past tense. I will tell you. Susan left the company a few months ago. It was sad to see her go. I lost a boss (she hates being called boss). So I will rephrase, I lost a friend.

Susan, this is for you;

Thank you for being my boss and also my friend,
Thank you for all the advice and counsel you gave, I benefited a lot,
Thank you for taking the time to listen to me.

I wish you only the best that life has to give,
May you continue to infect those who meet with your radiance,
May you be more!

I wish you joy, love and happiness,
May the sun rise to meet you as you awake,
May God’s blessing keep you warm when the days turn grey.

Be more!

Thank you again!

Photo credit: http://www.clickinmoms.com/cmprodaily/author/amylucy/

Patience, when you meet Susan you will know that what I write is just an observation. She is beyond my description.

I love you Patience, I always will.

There is no sunshine when she is gone

Dear Patience,

I hope that you are well over there. I read that it is not as cold as you expected, I hope you like that.
The sun shines in Kampala but in my heart it is winter. I miss you Patience.

Someone sung that thee is no sunshine when she is gone, that guy is right. Bamuwe kyanywa! The days are long and the nights longer… I toss and turn hoping that at least I can asleep for 1 hour, It seems like yesterday when I kissed your soft lips at the airport. You blushed and whispered that people were looking at us. I looked at you and told you how I did not care if they were looking.

I took Max to the vet over the weekend. He has not been eating his meals. The doctor said he has an infection in the intestines. He is due for an operation. I am scared for him. I know he will be fine, he is tough dog. We have been through a lot together. This week, I will be alone in the apartment.

Patience, I miss you. I miss your kisses. I work out more and I read more so that I can kill the time. If I have these 100 days, surely I will make it through the rest. Being alone in the house has brought me closer to me. I am getting used to the fact that I do not have to be gloomy because you are away. You wouldn’t want that, would you?

I go to church too. I pray and I have renewed my commitment to serve the Lord.

Till then, I am always yours!

Love you more than I admit…..

Still waiting

“Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.”

Patience, I am sorry!

Dear Patience,

My silence is unpardonable. I owe you an apology.

I am sincerely sorry for keeping you waiting,
I am sorry for the unfulfilled promises
I am sorry for the hurtful words I said
I am sorry for not listening when you needed me to
Please find it in you to forgive.

I am sorry for walking away
I am sorry for not telling you how I feel
I am sorry for not telling you how you make me feel
I am truly sorry
Please find it in you to forgive.

Let us closed the doors of the past
Let us open the windows of the future
Let us inhale the early morning fresh air
May the soft rays of the rising sun caress your beautiful face.

Let us smile and laugh again
Let us hold hands again and dance
Let us take those long evening walks again
May our love like the new year be renewed.

I love you Patience!

Life as it is…

“We could be more than friends…..” Those were her last words as she walked out of my apartment. It has been 8 days and she has not picked my calls, replied any of my texts or emails. I am still asking myself what she meant. I do not know if I should be worried or happy.

You have all met Patience in my previous posts. Patience and I have been friends for 6 years and 5 months. You could say we are the best of friends… She reads my thoughts and I am most free when we are together. Like all friendships, we have had our moments. We quarreled, called each other names that no one can dare say in daylight. But we persevered through it all. We have not yet killed each other!

Recently, Patience’s sister wedded and in the past couple of months we have been invited to wedding meetings and weddings than I can remember.  Could that be the genesis of the statement?  Or maybe I am just dreaming?

I could have been friend zoned…

I hope to find out this weekend. Till then, I remain your truly the happiest bachelor in Kampala! Maybe new shoes, will be the answer to my dilemma.

Have a nice weekend!